He aha kāu e haʻi aku ai i ke keiki inā ua make kahi pōpoki a ʻīlio paha?

I kēia manawa ua lohe ʻoe: “Mama, ʻauhea kaʻu ʻīlio? No ke aha ʻaʻole ʻo ia e noho hou me mākou? E haʻalele anei ʻoe ʻaʻole e hoʻi hou mai e like me ia?" Ke make ka ʻīlio i loko o ka ʻohana, he nui nā nīnau a nā keiki a paʻakikī paha ke noʻonoʻo pehea e pane ai iā lākou. ʻAʻole maʻalahi ka wehewehe ʻana i ka make ʻana o kahi pipi i kahi keiki. Ma muli o ko lākou mau makahiki, ʻo ke kanikau ʻana i ka nalo ʻana o kahi ʻīlio (a i ʻole ka make e hiki mai ana) hiki ke hoʻoulu i ka huikau nui, ʻaʻole e haʻi i ke kaumaha, a pono nā keiki i ke kōkua o ko lākou mau mākua e hoʻoponopono i ke kūlana. Akā ma hea e hoʻomaka ai? He aha ka ʻōlelo? Loaʻa i kēlā me kēia kanaka ko lākou ala ponoʻī e haʻi i ke keiki i kēia nūhou, a he mea maʻamau kēia. Inā ʻaʻole ʻoe maopopo i ka wehewehe ʻana i kāu mau keiki, hiki i kēia mau ʻōlelo aʻoaʻo ʻekolu ke kōkua.

1. E hoʻopono.

Makemake paha ʻoe e hōʻoluʻolu i ka lono o ka make ʻana o kāu ʻīlio, ʻoiai inā ʻōpiopio kāu mau keiki. E maʻalahi paha ʻoe e hoʻohuli i ka ʻoiaʻiʻo a haʻi iā lākou e mālama kā lākou pipi aloha i kahi ʻohana ʻē aʻe i nele, a i ʻole ua hahai ʻo ia i kāna moeʻuhane a hele e makaʻala i nā ululāʻau hihiu o Australia, akā ʻo nā moʻolelo e like me kēia ' t mau ke ala maikai loa. . ʻOiai ke ʻōlelo nei kekahi poʻe he ʻoi aku ka naʻauao o nā keiki ma mua o ko lākou ʻike ʻana, ʻo ka ʻoiaʻiʻo, ʻoi aku ka nui o kā lākou hoʻomaopopo ʻana i ka intuitively, ʻaʻole i ka naʻauao, e like me ka manaʻo o nā mākua.

ʻIke ʻoe i ka nui o ka ʻoiaʻiʻo āu e haʻi aku ai i kāu mau keiki, akā ʻo ka pololei e kōkua i ke keiki e hoʻomaopopo i ke kūlana a hoʻomaka e hoʻoponopono i kona mau manaʻo. Ma hope o nā mea a pau, he mea nui ka make o ke ola. E ʻike kāu mau keiki i kēia ma hope a ma hope paha, ma ke ʻano he kamaliʻi a ma ke ʻano he kanaka makua, a ʻoiai ʻaʻole maʻalahi ka make, ʻo ke aʻo ʻana e pili ana iā ia ma kahi wahi palekana e kōkua iā lākou e hoʻokō i nā poho e hiki mai ana.

E hoʻomanaʻo ʻaʻole pono ka ʻoiaʻiʻo e hāʻawi i nā kikoʻī āpau. E koho i ka huaʻōlelo i ʻoluʻolu loa iā ʻoe, e ʻoluʻolu e hoʻohana i ka huaʻōlelo me kahi "s" (e like me ka huaʻōlelo "make"), akā e hoʻokuʻu i nā kikoʻī gory. Inā he kanaka haipule ʻoe a makemake ʻoe i kahi ala e hoʻopalupalu ai i ka pā, hiki iā ʻoe ke haʻi aku ua hele ʻo ia i ka lani ʻīlio, akā ʻoi aku ka maikaʻi o ka wehewehe ʻana i ke ʻano o ke ola o kāu ʻīlio. Mai alakaʻi hewa ʻoe i kahi keiki ma ka haʻi ʻana iā ia aia kāna ʻīlio aloha i kahi ʻē aʻe, e auwana ana i ka honua, ʻoiai ʻo ia e ʻoi aku ka hewa ke ʻike ʻo ia i ka ʻoiaʻiʻo.

Inā ola kāu pipi, e kamaʻilio me nā keiki e pili ana i kona maʻi a ʻeha paha ma mua o kona make ʻana. ʻOi aku ka maʻalahi o ka wehewehe ʻana i ka make ʻana o kahi puaʻa i kahi keiki inā ʻike kāu keiki kāne a kaikamahine paha he mea hiki ʻole ia a ʻaʻole kahaha i ka nūhou. Eia naʻe, i kekahi manawa hiki mai nā pōʻino a make kekahi mau ʻīlio i ka hiamoe. I kēia hihia, e hoʻomanawanui i ka pane ʻana i nā nīnau pau ʻole e pili ana i ka hoʻi ʻana mai o kāu hoa huluhulu a koho pono i kāu mau ʻōlelo.

2. E hoʻomaopopo i ka manaʻo o kāu mau keiki.

I ka wehewehe ʻana i ka make ʻana o kahi pipi i kāu keiki, e mākaukau no ka nui o nā manaʻo. Hiki i kāu mau keiki ke uē i ka waimaka, lilo i ka hysterical, a i ʻole ka haʻalele wale ʻana i kāu hoʻolaha. ʻO kēia mau manaʻo a me nā hana a pau he ala ia e ʻeli ai i ka nūhou. Ke aʻo nei nā keiki liʻiliʻi e ʻike i ko lākou mau manaʻo, no laila e huli pinepine lākou i ko lākou mau mākua e hoʻomaopopo pono i ko lākou manaʻo. He hana koʻikoʻi ke kanikau ʻana i ka make ʻana o ka ʻīlio, no laila e hoʻomaopopo i ko lākou mau manaʻo inā ʻaʻole like ʻoe. Wahi a ka Kübler-Ross model of grief, hele nā ​​kānaka i nā pae ʻelima: hōʻole, huhū, kūʻai aku, kaumaha, a me ka ʻae. I mea e kōkua maikaʻi ai i kāu mau keiki e pale aku i ka poho, e hoʻāʻo e hoʻomaopopo i ke ʻano o ko lākou pae i kēia manawa, a e hoʻomanaʻo he hiki i nā keiki ʻokoʻa ma nā pae ʻokoʻa a neʻe paha i ka pae aʻe ma nā uku like ʻole.

I ka wā hōʻole, e hoʻomanaʻo mālie i kāu mau keiki ʻaʻole ola kāu ʻīlio. E hoʻomanawanui inā huhū lākou. E wehewehe i kāu mau keiki ʻaʻohe mea hiki iā lākou ke hana i mea e hoʻololi ai inā aia lākou i ke kahua kūʻai. E ho'āʻo e paipai iā lākou inā manaʻo lākou i ke kaumaha, ke kaumaha, a me ke kaʻawale, a mālama mau i ka hoʻomanaʻo o kāu pipi, ʻoiai ma hope o ka pae ʻae.

A ʻo kekahi memo hou aʻe: ʻaʻole kū like kou mau manaʻo me nā manaʻo o nā keiki. Hiki iā lākou ke hana wikiwiki ma mua o kāu i manaʻo ai a ʻoi aku ka wikiwiki ma mua o kou hiki. Maikaʻi kēia. E nānā wale iā lākou no kekahi manawa e hōʻoia ʻaʻole lākou e mālama i ko lākou mau manaʻo iā lākou iho. ʻO ka mea ʻē aʻe, hiki ke hoʻonāwaliwali kāu mau keiki ma mua o ka pono. Mai wikiwiki i nā mea. Inā hopohopo ʻoe no ko lākou kūlana manaʻo, e kamaʻilio me ke kākāʻōlelo e pili ana i ke kōkua ʻana iā lākou e hoʻoponopono i ko lākou mau manaʻo a lanakila i ko lākou nalowale.

ʻO kahi memo hou aʻe - maikaʻi inā hele pū ʻoe i kēia mau manaʻo. ʻO kēia ʻīlio kāu pipi, no laila he mea maʻamau ke ʻike i ka lua o kou puʻuwai i waiho ʻia i kona haʻalele ʻana. He mea koʻikoʻi ka hoʻoponopono ʻana i ka pohō iā ʻoe e like me kāu mau keiki. E hilinaʻi lākou iā ʻoe, no laila pono ʻoe e hōʻiliʻili i ka ikaika no lākou e kōkua iā lākou e hele i kēia manawa paʻakikī, akā ʻaʻole pono ʻoe e mālama i kou mau manaʻo i loko ou. Hoʻomau loa nā keiki; e ʻike paha ʻoe e hilinaʻi ana ʻoe iā lākou i ka hoʻāʻo ʻana e loaʻa i kēia kaumaha ma mua o ko lākou hilinaʻi ʻana iā ʻoe.

3. E hana i kahi ʻaha aloha me kāu pipi.

I kēia manawa ua wehewehe ʻoe i ka make ʻana o kahi pipi i kāu keiki, e noʻonoʻo paha ʻoe pehea e hiki ai i kou ʻohana ke hoʻokuʻu i ke kūlana a neʻe aku ma hope o kēia hanana pōʻino. ʻO kāu ʻīlio ka mea i aloha nui ʻia a paʻakikī ke hele i kou ola i kēlā me kēia lā me ka ʻole o kāna mau hana leʻaleʻa i kou home. Eia naʻe, e nānā nā keiki iā ʻoe ma ke ʻano he laʻana o ka noho ʻana me ka ʻīlio ʻole.

ʻO kekahi o nā ala maikaʻi loa e kōkua ai i nā keiki e kanikau i ka nalo ʻana o kahi ʻīlio, ʻo ia ke kono iā lākou e hana i kahi ʻaha aloha no kāu pipi. No ka hana ʻana i kēia, hiki iā ʻoe ke kaʻana like i nā moʻolelo e pili ana i nā manawa hauʻoli a i ʻole nā ​​mea ʻakaʻaka i loaʻa i kou ʻohana pili. E noʻonoʻo e like me ka hana hoʻomanaʻo. E kono i kou mau kūpuna, nā hoaaloha ʻohana, a i ʻole nā ​​ʻīlio kaiāulu. E ʻae i kāu mau keiki e komo i ka hoʻolālā. Hiki iā lākou ke heluhelu i ka mele a i ʻole e hana i kahi collage me nā kiʻi o ka holoholona.

Hiki iā ʻoe ke hana i puke puke o ke ola o kāu ʻīlio me kāu mau keiki. E hoʻomaka me nā kiʻi mai ka lā mua i komo ai ʻo ia i kou home ma ke ʻano he ʻīlio, a mai poina e hoʻokomo i nā kiʻi o kāu pāʻani a me nā ʻike hoihoi e pili ana i kāu pipi. Eia kekahi laʻana, hiki i kahi keiki nui ke kākau e pili ana i ka hauʻoli o kā lākou ʻīlio i ka holo ʻana i lalo i ka paheʻe ma hope. Hiki i ka ʻōpio ke kaha kiʻi kiʻi ʻohana e hoʻohui i ka album. Mahalo i kēia, e loaʻa mau iā ʻoe a me kāu mau keiki kekahi mea hiki ke hoʻomanaʻo i kahi hoaaloha ʻehā wāwae.

ʻO kekahi koho ʻē aʻe, ʻo ka hāʻawi ʻana i nā waiwai o kāu ʻīlio, e like me nā meaʻai i wehe ʻole ʻia a i ʻole nā ​​​​meaʻai, nā lāʻau lapaʻau, a i ʻole nā ​​mea pāʻani, i kāu keʻena lapaʻau holoholona a i ʻole ka hale hoʻomaha holoholona. Makemake kāu pipi e ʻike e kōkua kā lākou mau mea i ka mālama ʻana i nā holoholona ʻē aʻe a i ʻole e hauʻoli iā lākou. Eia hou, hiki i kāu mau keiki ke hoʻokō i ke kaumaha ma ke kōkua ʻana i nā poʻe ʻē aʻe. E ʻike lākou me ko lākou mau maka i ka hauʻoli a lākou e lawe mai ai i ke ola o kekahi holoholona ʻē aʻe, a hiki i kēia ke kōkua iā lākou e neʻe aku.

Inā hopohopo ʻoe no ka wehewehe ʻana i ka make ʻana o kahi pipi i kāu keiki, e noi i kāu kauka holoholona no ke kōkua. Ua kamaʻilio pinepine ʻo ia i nā ʻohana e pili ana i ka maʻi, ka ʻeha, a me ka make kaumaha, no laila hiki iā ia ke hāʻawi iā ʻoe i nā ʻōlelo aʻoaʻo e pili ana i ke kūkākūkā ʻana me kāu mau keiki. E hoʻomanaʻo e liʻuliʻu kēia. Mai ho'āʻo e hoʻopau i kou mau manaʻo no ka mea hiki i kēia ke hoʻonui i ke kūlana. Mai lele pololei i ke kiʻi ʻana i kahi ʻīlio ʻē aʻe inā ʻaʻole ʻoe mākaukau maoli – ʻoiai inā noi kāu mau keiki iā ia. A hiki i kou hoʻoponopono maoli ʻana i kou mau manaʻo, ʻaʻole hiki i ka ʻīlio ʻē aʻe ke loaʻa i ke aloha a pau e pono ai.